8.08.2009

Carter's Communication Style...Earplugs Recommended

We're currently in Cary, North Carolina, visiting my parents for a few days. I was very nervous to fly alone with Carter since he hadn't been on a plane in a year and is now very squirmy. I was also nervous because he has begun throwing fits if he can't get what he wants. I'll be posting flying tips soon for all you other mommies who are dreading such a catastrophe.

So, as I was saying, Carter has begun expressing his anger, frustration, or discontent with loud yells and screams. In one way, I understand. He's learning to express himself. While he has lots of words, he can't quite put any phrases together yet. But in the last few days, he has taken his communication style to a whole new level! On Thursday, my mom took us to a children's consignment store, and when we were ready to go, Carter made it clear he was not. He glared at us and yelled at the top of his lungs, eyes bulging out, as he tried to sustain the scream as long as he could. Well, his effort for such a little guy was kind of impressive, and after exchanging looks of shock and horror, Mom and I couldn't help but burst into laughter. We had to turn our heads so he wouldn't see. Let me assure you that if I'd been there with Carter by myself, I would have been crying, not laughing.

Trying to employ all the discipline tactics I have read about, I've tried whispering (vs yelling) so he'll pay attention, popping him, talking and attempting to reason with him, singing to him (another reason why I recommend earplugs), asking him to tell me what he wants, etc. Nothing has really worked 100% yet. Last night, after I took away a phone charger from him, he began to let out one of those lengthy yells. I thought I'd try walking away and ignoring it. As I walked away, he increased the volume of his yell ten-fold! But I will say...he did quit a few seconds later.

Finally, as Carter and I played on the screened in porch with my parents, my dad told Carter no for something. My little man released the loudest and most impressive yell yet. He even darted his eyes to each of us to make sure we were watching. My dad, having not witnessed this yet, starting laughing, which of course got us going. But as we looked away, he stopped.

Maybe the ignoring of the screams will curtail this issue. But I am not sure how much the folks on the plane tomorrow will appreciate this approach as he realizes his outburts won't get him attention. Pray for our flight home. :) And please enlighten me with some other ideas if you have any. If I can somehow catch one of these screams on video, I will surely post it. :)

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3 comments:

Lindsey said...

You're a great mom! Ignoring is the tactic that I always use when I'm baby-sitting...so far every kid I've used it on has always responded. Takes longer for some kids than others, but I have no doubt that you'll make it through the screaming.

The Phillips' said...

I think you are doing great. What I have figured out with Trent, who has started throwing his face into his hands and sometimes himself onto the floor during these moments, is that he is always going to keep trying different ways to get attention or to get what he wants. So I don't think there is going to ever be one thing that works. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone and I feel the frustration.

The Hoppers said...

It's so hard when they do something wrong and it catches you off guard and you laugh! We have done that with Lawson. He will yell and scream but not sustained like Carter. He used to throw a fit and bend over, stick his hiney out and throw his arms back. Perfect "popping" position. He stopped that when he figured out I would pop him. We are still working on what is effective! No advice for you. Just had to relate with the laughing!!!!