Grace's Visit to Adoption Clinic

Well, we made it through a 3 1/2 hour-long visit to the International Adoption Clinic at Children's Hospital this morning. Here are some details.

Stats:

She weighed in at 20 lbs (gained almost 2 lbs since China!), placing her in the 5th percentile. She measured at 30 1/2 inches in length, putting her in the 25th percentile in height. Her head size was also in the 25th percentile. This was great news since it was below 5th (off the charts, really) in her referral info.

Tongue:

Grace's special need was a mature monodermal teratoma on her tongue. Basically, it was a benign tumor that can occur anywhere in the body. Hers was removed at 5 months. Dr. Chambers noticed that there is tissue between the tongue and the bottom oral cavity, and she wasn't sure if perhaps not all the tumor was removed. She referred us to a pediatric ENT who we'll see May 18th. She and I both hope Grace won't have to have another surgery. Removing more of her tongue could impact her speech.

Shutting Down:

To check for immunization levels and run some tests, Grace had to have A LOT of blood drawn. They actually had to prick both arms in order to gather enough blood. They had her sit in my lap with my arms around her in a bear hug as they drew what they needed. Since the blood wasn't flowing out, it took a while. For a good few mintues, Grace screamed and cried hysterically. She turned her face into mine, and within seconds went to sleep. The nurses joked that she was ignoring them. But I knew better. I knew what had happened because I've read about it.

When faced with stressful circumstances, some adopted kids cope by withrawing into themselves or shutting down into sleep. They can literally force themselves into sleep within seconds. I guess Grace couldn't handle the fear and anxiety of the needle, and so she simply withdrew into herself, shut down, and went to sleep. With the needle still in her arm. She went from wails and sobs to silence and unconsciousness within seconds. While I knew she'd be okay, it was the most bizarre, disturbing thing to witness. It dawned on me that this is what she did our first day together. Looking back, we see more and more how much shock she was in. When I lay her down to nap, I remember her falling asleep within a minute. I think she probably just shut herself down that day because she was exhausted and had no energy to fight (like she would for afternoons and nights following), and that was how she could cope. It's heartbreaking what these kids, these BABIES, have learned to protect themselves and survive.

Attachment:

The attachment therapist spent about 20-30 minutes with us, and she was very encouraged by Grace's bonding to me. Yay! She noted our daughter's good eye contact, looks to me for approval/acceptance of a person or situation, affection (she kissed me on the lips while there), and sleep habits. She said Grace's hoarding of food would eventually subside as she makes the connection that there will always be enough. She recommended leaving food out and available for Grace so she'll learn that lesson. Apparently, they even have some older kids wear fanny packs with snacks so they learn they're readily available. :)

While Grace only lets me and Scott hold her (though she let her Gram Me hold her a few minutes this afternoon!), this is a good sign that she is attaching to us. And over time, she will feel comfortable going to others. Her preference for us is what we want to see at this point.

Grieving:

While Grace is doing extraordinarily well, grief can still sneak up at some point. The attachment therapist said that it can even show up at ages 6 or 7. Sometimes kids will feel lonely, sad, anxious, or clingy and not even know why. These emotions often stem from unresolved grief from early in their lives. Other times, kids will act out, have inconsolable meltdowns, or experience night terrors. We hope that won't be the case for Virginia Grace, but we will be prepared if that does happen.

Test Results:

We won't get most test results back until our next visit on June 9th. But overall, Dr. Chambers thought Grace looked good. Great news!

Test Vials:

After the nurses drew all the blood she needed from Grace, she had me watch as she labled the vials with Grace's labels. Since her legal first name is Virginia, the labels have that name typed on them. But only part of her name fit in the space of the sticker.

So the vials read: Brown, Virgin

Ha! :) With all the crazy Hollywood baby names, what do you want to bet that someone thinks that is her actual name?

Hmm. These purple petals look like they might taste good. Better than the dog food I tried yesterday.

When I don't get my way, I just pucker my pretty lips into a precious pout.

I like your new chair, Grace. I think I look pretty good in it. Why don't we trade?Ha ha!! You're funny, brother.
Carter in defeat, I thought everything new was supposed to be mine. That's how it's worked the last two years.What, Mama? I just put him in his place.No more pictures, Mama!!
(This is actually what he said before this pic.)
Help! It's 90 degrees out here. Someone let us in!