7.06.2011

The Sun is Setting

It's hard to believe that we're heading home tomorrow morning!! We are ready. Last night, the group embarked on the Pearl River Dinner Cruise. The food is...well...let's just say we all grabbed McDonald's an hour before we left for the cruise. But the views are spectacular. We witnessed a beautiful sunset. And the lights on the buildings are a sight to see.





Our guide Rebecca was very ill yesterday and had to go to the doctor (104 fever!). So our guide from Nanning, David, was in Guangzhou and filled in for Rebecca. Our family was thrilled to see him! Especially LiYun....we think she has a little crush. And she is going to hate me one day when she reads this. :) On the cruise, Scott and I had our first picture taken together, just the two of us, on the entire trip. Isn't that sad?? A hard part of this trip has been that we haven't had any time together, any moments to really connect and digest all that's happened. A date night is in order when we get home. A date where I can wear my fun new Chinese dress. :)








This morning, the group headed to the zoo. Grace particularly loved the panda which she kept calling a "teddy bear." It was so ridiculously hot and humid that we spent some of the time under covered tables downing water. (And dried fish...a popular snack in China that only LiYun and the kids indulged in. I thought I was open to trying new foods, but I've found I'm more reserved than I thought!) When we walked around, Carter was once again the main attraction. People would turn from the animals to stare and snap pictures of Carter. I started joking that we should throw him into a ring and charge people 2 yuan for a high five, 5 yuan to touch his curls, and 10 yuan for a picture. :)





All of the visa for the adopted kids were issued and picked up this afternoon, and it was exciting to realize everything is finally approved, processed, and completed. United States of America...here we come!

I have to confess that I've felt emotional and moody today. I am beyond exhausted. I've been sharing a bed with three people, entertaining kids or working to communicated with LiYun, completing paperwork, and more. I am never by myself, even when getting ready in the bathroom. And it's. driving. me. bonkers.

This afternoon, I walked by myself to get some Starbucks iced coffee. It was the first time in two weeks that I was alone. And it was so freeing that I felt an impulse to throw my arms wide and spin around like Fraulein Maria in The Sound of Music. Seriously. I need some personal recharging time.

While Carter has struggled with not having a schedule, he has done GREAT with adjusting to a big sister. He adores LiYun. But I guess he decided he wanted a little one-on-one time because he asked me this afternoon, "Mommy, can we go buy some lemonade and the rest of the family stay here?" So we had a little Mommy-Carter date to the grocery market.



Today was a turning point for Grace...she has been having a ball jumping on her big sister and having tickle fights. Her little voice is so cute when she calls out "LiYun!!" But this morning, prior to the big transition, she was still keeping her distance. And when Grace refused to sit next to LiYun on the golf cart at the Zoo, I caught LiYun sticking her tongue out at her little sister! At first, I was dismayed. But then I realized it's a good sign if she's feeling comfortable enough to express her true emotions. I am sure she has had her feelings hurt by Grace's "rejection" over the last week.

Some changes have definitely taken place over the last two days. LiYun has made an effort to hang out with some of the other girls around her age (one 13 year old just adopted, and a few siblings that are here). She is no longer sitting with me on the bus when we go places. And I'm a little sad, but I think it's a good sign she is being social. And she seems to be getting past the phase of simply wanting to please me. (But can I be honest and say I'll miss that pleasing phase a bit?) :)

We leave super early in the morning via 3-hour van ride to Hong Kong. We'll fly out to Chicago (flight time approximately 12 hours), and then have a short flight to Birmingham. We get in to the Birmingham airport, and 4:43 pm, and I can hardly wait to walk into our home. I have loved our time in China, but being crammed into a hotel room with three kids is testing my patience. And I'm ready to climb into bed where the sheets don't feel damp.

Pray for us as we journey home. This will be Caroline's second flight of her life, and it's a very long one. And I know she'll be a little overwhelmed when we get home. She is not accustomed to having so much space, and I will have to determine how to balance giving her privacy with ensuring that she engages with the family. Pray that she will be motivated to learn more English. She's become reliant on the translator, and we will have to push her to practice words. I think she's self-conscious.

Pray that she will be grateful for the family she now has. I sense that she likes all her new material belongings and freedom. Actually, she told me the two things she loves most about being in our family is freedom and happiness. (I had asked her this question.) I asked her to clarify what kinds of freedoms. And she said painting her nails and buying more books! I informed her that we would establish some rules when we got home such as a bedtime, etc. She moaned a bit but seemed okay. I guess I'm just nervous that she's happy because she has new clothes and polished nails. She's been asking for more and more things. And she even brought me my mascara this morning and asked me if she could put it on. (I said no.) I don't want her to view me as a genie who can grant all her wishes. I want her to view me as someone who can provide love, comfort, protection, advice, assurance, a shoulder to cry on, lessons on life and faith, and motherly attention. To be perfectly honest, she's been a bit sassy tonight. And a little demanding. (As in charge her iPod. Now.) And I feel a little disenchanted. But this isn't anything I didn't expect. And she and I already communicated last week that we realize each other is not perfect and that we will disappoint each other at times. However, reality isn't always fun. And I share this so you don't think we live in a constant state of Rory & Lorelai bliss. (reference to Gilmore Girls)

Thank you for all the comments and emails. I can't access blogger to respond, so please know that I will when we get home. Your insights, advice, scripture references, and prayers have touched me so deeply. It is comforting to know I am not traveling this road alone. I have the Lord guiding me, but also amazing people who are lifting us up along the way. I am humbled by how many people have invested a few moments of their day to check in on us and our journey. Thank you!!

I'll leave you with a fun little list:

What I'll miss in China:
noodles for breakfast
the language ( I am picking out phrases now!)
great deals on books, clothes, etc
room service and no cleaning dishes
good coffee and tea
the cities and unique cultures

What I won't miss but will remember with a smile:
stares
smells (all kinds!)
chicken feet
being in a hotel room with three kids
squatty potties (I wish I had Carter on video when he first ran up saying "They have potties that go all the way down to the floor!!!!!)
four of us sleeping together in one bed
feeling sticky and sweaty all the time

Next post will be from home. Woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!

19 comments:

Stephanie said...

I have so enjoyed following your journey to your daughter. I pray that God continues to sustain you all as you settle into your "real life" at home. I pray that He will give you confidence in your dealings with LiYun and continues to knkit you together as a family that honors Him. She is beautiful.

LauraK said...

Safe travels home Kelley! I know many will be happy to have you and your newly expanded family back!

Jess said...

I have just started blogging after following my cousin Haley Morgan when she started doing this. I am going through some of the people she follows and must say your story is a great one!!! I am excited to keep up with you and your growing family!

Martha said...

I know just the girls to call to watch the kiddos when you get ready for date night! Praying for safe travels through the home stretch! See you soon...

Susan said...

Wahooo!!! We'll be there tomorrow! Can't wait! I was laughing out loud reading about people photographing Carter at the zoo - love it! All THREE of your kids are beautiful! see you soon! love you!

Pam and Bob said...

Ya'll got David in GZ too??!! No Fair!
Rebecca and Mikko were great. Rebecca kept giving us tips to curb our Princess's desire to be a tyrannical empress.
Reading your posts make us look forward to our next China trip.
Safe and smooth travels to ORD and BHM.
It's 0110 GZ time..you'll be up and headed to HK soon.

Julie said...

Praying!

Nicole said...

Congrats on your beautiful daughter!!! We just adopted our daughter from Nanning last July. I have really enjoyed reading your posts! We are about to begin the process again adopting a 12-13 year old girl. I felt so encouraged reading through all of your words.
Safe travels home!
Nicole
www.journeytoourlittleladybug.blogspot.com

Ashley Matteo said...

i have enjoyed your updates and your candidness about the good times and not so good times. i pray that others who have adopted children will continue to help encourage you and give you wisdom. i will pray for your travels and for your entire family's transition. thanks for sharing all the updates

Courtney said...

LOVE Carter's comment about the potties. :) Hysterical! Can't wait for ya'll to get home so we can hug and love on you and the kiddos...just counting down the hours. Praying for safe, calm and restful travels. We love ya'll so much and will see you tomorrow!!!

Deann Scholl said...

Kelly,

It has been so wonderful following your journey to Liyun and I am so thankful that everything has gone so well. I admire you for writing not only about the good times, but also the challenging ones. Im sure there will be more challenging times as you get home, but I know that God will lead you through it all. I know you must be so thrilled to be getting back home and into some sort of normalcy. I will pray for all of you on your journey back to America and as you settle back home as a family of five. Looking forward to seeing you when things slow down for you!

Deann

The Mom said...

I have been praying for you. I think the hardest thing my friends have said about adopting an older child is that you don't know "where" they are emotionally, socially or in terms of maturity. And even if you think you are getting a handle on one aspect, you find that it is constantly shifting. Just remember that tweens and teens are simply unpredictable and demanding and emotional no matter whether they are adopted or not. Remember to extend grace to yourself each and every day. Both you and Caroline are learning something new about each other all the time! Blessings...

Debby said...

Continued prayers for a safe journey home........

Elissa said...

Another silver lining I'm choosing to be thankful for about our new teen's sassiness: it is completely normal teen behavior. Many newly adopted girls our girls' ages act more like 8 year olds, so I'm choosing to be thankful that she's rit on track developmentally! :)

So happy for you that you're so close to coming home. We've been home one week tomorrow and Hope's come SO far- she's made a lot more effort to speak English, and I'm sure LiYun will too.

Praying for safe and uneventful travel home!

Jennifer said...

praying for safe and smooth travels for all of you:)

Lindsey said...

I can't wait for y'all to walk into the doors of your home either! When you get ready for that date night, I know of two girls that would love to make that happen!!

Adam said...

Poor Rebecca! I hope she's feeling better. What a treat to get to see David again though. It's been years, but we still quote David. He had shown us a picture of his girlfriend and we told him how pretty she was. "You think so?" he asked. "I tell her all the time, 'You just normal'". Wow. Don't give her a big head or anything! So, if someone needs to be kept humble in our family, we say in a David accent, "You just normal."

I've never adopted a 12 year old, but I do have a 17 year old and a nearly 15 year old and have been through that age. Unfortunately, moodiness comes with the territory regardless of any of the other circumstances! It sounds like you both are doing great.

With our newly adopted son, (who is 4 years old today!) everything was so much easier once we got home. It's so hard on everyone to live out of a hotel!

Eileen Beck

Julie said...

Wishing you safe travels and God's speed!! Can't wait to read about how life returns to a new normal for you guys!! I bet good Southern cooking will have never tasted so good and your bed will be wonderful as well.

Looking forward,
Julie

bklreed said...

Praying for your safe journey home & adjusting to life as a family of 5! Thank you for sharing your journey with us! As a mother of a 12 yr old, moodiness is completely normal!