Stepping Out

It seems 2008 is going to be characterized by stepping out, and in more ways than one.

First of all, I am officially venturing into the blogging world, and I admit, it’s a bit intimidating. For all of you who have been blogging for years, bear with me while I figure this all out and find what these supposed professional internet bloggers call my “blogging voice.” I am diving in for two main reasons: to update family and friends on baby Carter and the Brown family, and to keep my mind and writing skills engaged.

Having just completed seminary, I now step forward into actually living out the plan (and dream) I have had for years….writing for Christian publications. For the past two years, the path has been somewhat easy, as I was immersed in “preparation” for launching a free-lance writing career. I knew where I was heading but wasn’t putting myself out on the line yet.

Now, it is up to me to be disciplined. To take the initiative to write. To send out queries and manuscripts… and to wait for the responses. I know I must be prepared for rejection letters, as every writer experiences this. But I truly feel that I am called to write, and I keep praying that God will guide me through this personally unchartered territory. I figure that one way to generate creative and relevant writing topics is to simply share daily life stories, thoughts, and reflections on this blog. Hopefully, blogging will help me remain consistent in my writing.

Finally, I am beginning a new, lifelong role as a mother. As numerous people have warned, my life is about to drastically change! This transition is perhaps the most significant change I have ever (or will ever) experience. Marriage seemed to be an easy shift, partly because my husband is one of the most patient, understanding, encouraging, and easygoing people I know. But I also knew that marriage was a mutually dependent relationship. Simultaneously, I recognized that Scott was capable of taking care of himself if I failed at being a “good wife.”

Motherhood, on the other hand, is a completely different ballgame. My son is going to be utterly dependent on me, particularly during his first few months of life outside the womb. If I “fail” as a mother, I potentially have a negative effect on the shaping of his personality, character, and life choices, thus not enabling him to fully develop into the man God desires him to be. In some ways, this insecurity and fear I have will lead me to be more dependent on the Lord in prayer than ever before. I am counting on Him to provide me with discernment, wisdom, unconditional love, and patience to make the right decisions and raise a godly son. I know it will be quite a challenging and humbling journey, but I anxiously anticipate it.

With 12 days until Carter’s due date, I am trying to remain as patient as possible. I am so eager to meet this precious baby that has been growing inside of me for the last 9 ½ months! It has been so fun to see Scott’s excitement, and I am looking forward to discovering a new side of him as he becomes a father. Until sweet Carter decides to make his debut into the world, I am trying to plan something fun for each day so that I have something to look forward to other than his unpredictable arrival!

Here’s to a year of heading in new directions…. And seeing what lies ahead!