Glancing Back

It’s hard to believe that this time last week, Scott and I were heading to the hospital. As I look back at the course of events on that day, I laugh at the irony of the outcome.

As you may recall, I wrote on Sunday the 27^th that it was challenging for me to deal with my impatience and not know when Carter would arrive. On Monday morning at our 39 week appointment, Scott and I were stunned when our doctor said we could induce Tuesday morning. We walked out of the office with excitement and shock, repeatedly saying to each other, “We’re going to have a baby tomorrow!” In just a few moments, we had transitioned from “the waiting game” to essentially planning the birth of our child! I laughed thinking, “God really does know me!” My mom and I spent the rest of the day making last minute preparations while Scott worked furiously at the office to wrap up some projects. My only hesitation about the “planned” delivery was that I had hoped to go into labor on my own and had some fears about the complications that can arise from being induced.

About noon that same day, I began having some contractions but didn’t take much notice since they were not very painful. After a suggestion that I time the contractions, I realized that they were 10 minutes apart. By 5 pm, they were 5-6 minutes apart but still remained mild in intensity. We called our doctor when the contractions reached 3 minutes apart, and he told us to go on to the hospital. At this point, it dawned on me that I might not make it until my inducement the next day.

While the contractions remained close together, I did not go into “full-fledged labor” (the nurses define this as contractions that you can’t talk through) until around 11 pm. At 7:30 am Tuesday morning, an hour after I was supposed to be admitted for inducement, our son Carter was born! That was when I thought, “Wow, God knows me better than I know myself." In an ironic twist, He had allowed us to prepare for Carter’s arrival while still surprising us and granting my desire to begin the process of labor naturally. God has been faithful during this journey in more ways than one, and He always surprises me with His attention to even the smallest details and desires.

One of the greatest blessings of Carter’s birth was having our O.B. (and member of our church), Dr. Billy Johnson, deliver him. I began seeing Dr. Johnson after our second miscarriage, and he has been so supportive, encouraging, and prayerful throughout the last 13 months. Several weeks ago, he had given us his cell number and said he would do whatever he could to deliver our baby if he was not on call when we went into labor. While he planned to come in Tuesday morning for my inducement, he certainly did not bank on getting a call to come in at 1:00 am because I was progressing on my own. He got out of bed and came to St. Vincent’s in the middle of the night just so he could go through this final step of the pregnancy process with us. He is not only a wonderful doctor but a servant of Christ, and we couldn’t be more grateful for all he has done for us!

Dr. Johnson came to visit us both days in the hospital.

The last few days have been filled with utter joy. Scott said earlier today, “It’s amazing how someone so small can change your world so quickly.” Both of us can’t hold him, kiss him, or stare at him enough. Things as seemingly trivial as his facial expressions awe us! As a new mother, I am also learning more about myself. I wrote last week that I am always impatient to move on to the next phase of life. Yet, I am having so much fun with our sweet newborn that I wish we could freeze time. I know it will be fun to watch Carter grow and develop, but he is so innocent and sweet at this stage. For perhaps the first time in my life, I am completely content where I am and relish every moment of this stage of Carter’s life!

I have always been fascinated with time. It amazes me how quickly time slips by and yet I am often saddened by its passing. Tomorrow, Carter will be one week old! I can’t seem to grasp that it has been a whole week since his birth day, and I sometimes wish I could go back and relive the whole experience. I suppose I feel I will lose the memories, or at the least the intensity of the emotions, as time puts distance between that precious day and the present. I have never been able to fully express my perception of time, but author Sheldon Vanauken explained it perfectly in A Severe Mercy. He wrote, "Then, if we complain of time and take such joy in the seemingly timeless moment, what does that suggest? It suggests that we have not always been or will not always be purely temporal creatures. It suggests that we were created for eternity..... Heaven is, indeed, home."

I suppose that the joy Scott and I presently feel with the addition of Carter to our lives is just a glimpse of the joy we will experience when we reach heaven. I long to hold onto these moments because I am experiencing a love I have never felt before. I am sure God has much more to reveal to us through our son, and I look forward to each new lesson. In the meantime, we are so grateful to all of you for celebrating Carter’s life with us.

A few pictures from the weekend:

Papa (my dad, Bob Brown) finally got to meet his grandson when he got into town Saturday morning.
Scott's twin brother, Stuart, drove in from Atlanta on Friday to spend some quality time with his nephew.
Carter loved meeting his Uncle Stuart and Aunt Noelle and hopes they'll come back to Birmingham very soon to visit!

Uncle Stuart holding Carter who is sporting his Auburn hat that Stu and Noelle picked out. He also has matching AU socks in which he will walk all over the elephant rug. :)