Under the Microscope

It's Tuesday afternoon in China, and Grace is taking a nap. We're still amazed at her transition. But as she has become more comfortable with us today and shown more of her personality, we can now see that she was somewhat withdrawn yesterday. She would engage herself in nesting the stacking cups as a coping mechanism ... she could focus on an activity and not interact with the real world. Thankfully, she is really letting her guard down and has been laughing, babbling, and playing most of the day.


She slept through the night, and I thought she might begin crying when she woke up. After all, I am still a stranger to her. But she smiled at me and nestled closer. She did cry for a few minutes last night, and I think that helped her to release some of her pent-up grief. She wouldn't take a bottle all yesterday or this morning, and this worried us because she wasn't really getting any liquids. But our guide took us to WalMart this morning and helped us pick out a Chinese formula that she was accustomed to. She drank most of her bottle right before her nap, and boy was I relieved.
I just realized that you might wonder why a 16-month-old would still be taking a bottle. Well, in this culture, babies take bottles way beyond the age they would in the US. Also, bottle-feeding is a good way to bond with your child, as you are holding them and making eye contact during the process. This nurtures them in a way they completely missed as infants.

I have to say that it's been interesting walking around Kunming with a Chinese baby. We pretty much get one of two reactions: they smile at us ... or they make it clear they don't approve of an American couple adopting a Chinese orphan. I wish I could tell them that, if they really have a problem with it, they should rise up and take control of the orphan situation in China. If you are wondering the current and predicted effects of China's one-child policy, and the degradation of girls as well, click here to read a recent article. It actually features the city of Kunming.

I've also noticed people watching me as I fed Virginia Grace at mealtimes. It was like they don't approve of what or how I was feeding her. They pretty much give toddlers stage 1 baby food ... not much solid food at all. But as long as my daughter is enjoying the food and eating well, I'll feed her what I think is best. And for goodness sake, I'm still feeding her Chinese food ... congee, rice, steamed eggs, pureed fruit, etc.

If we're not placed under a microscope for international adoption or feeding methods, it's for Grace's lack of clothing. As I previously mentioned, Chinese dress their children in layers upon layers. It's in the mid-80s today, and children are dressed in fleece sweatshirts, jackets and full jumpsuits. They look like they're bundled up for snow! Our guide tried to pull down Grace's capri leggings to cover her entire leg. ;o) So, if you notice that Grace's clothes don't quite match, it's because we had to throw on a jacket or sweater whether it coordinated or not.

With all this said, we have found the Chinese people to be very helpful and gracious. They are very flattered when we try to communicate in their language, and they love practicing English.

Here are a few other notes from last night and today:

• Our first Skype with Carter and Grace went better than I could have dreamed. We were nervous that Carter might cry when he saw another baby in our laps. Instead, he said, "Hi GRACE!!!" And then patting himself, he said, "I CarCar!!" (his name for himself). It was precious! He smiled as I showed him how Grace giggles when lift high in the air. And he brought some of his toys to the camera to show his little sister. We can't wait to watch Carter and Grace interact in person!

• I still can't figure out exactly what size clothes Grace is in. She wore 12 month Carter brand pjs last night, and the feet were almost tight, the torso just gaping. Today, she is wearing a 9-month dress (though the line runs big), and the bloomers that came with them just fell off her. I put her on the scale here, and she weighed about 18 or 19 pounds. It was hard to tell with this kind of scale, and she also had her clothes on. She's much tinier than I originally guessed when I first saw her yesterday.
• Grace's first Chinese word that we recognized was gege (guh-guh), which means older brother. She would point to Carter's picture in her photo album and say "gege." So cute! I know she'll love him!
• All yesterday, Grace would tense up if Scott touched her. We think she much have had a bad experience with men. But he gradually won her trust, and as they played with the beach ball today, he got her smiling and laughing like crazy. It was so sweet to see!

• While Grace seems very intelligent and will mimic words and actions, her motor skills seem slightly behind. I don't think she ever learned to crawl. If she gets on all fours on the bed, she can't move around well. And she cannot figure out how to get back into a sitting position. She will walk, but only if we're holding her hands. She did take a few steps on her own this morning, but that's rare. She also doesn't know how to get down from a chair or the bed. If she's standing, she doesn't know how to sit on the ground.
• Her tongue seems to be a non-issue, at least so far. We caan see where part of the tongue is missing on the side from the removal of the tumor. And she does curl her tongue in a funny way at times. But it doesn't seem to hinder her eating or speaking. We're so thankful for that! We'll know more when we get home and see a speech pathologist.
• The WalMart here is nothing like at home. It's 3 stories tall, and one section features all kinds of meats and delicacies I don't care to identify, and even full legs from cows. Yes, hoofs and all. It was more the smell that got me than the products for sale. Think back to 7th grade biology class when dissecting frogs.
• Grace loves her toys, and especially Baby Stella. She loves the magnetic pacifier and bottle, and she really enjoyed "feeding" her doll. Maybe this encouraged her to take her own bottle shortly after? Regardless it's great to see her interacting with toys. Adopted children don't always do this right away. This is a good sign that she is adjusting and bonding.

Tomorrow morning, we'll be visiting the orphanage. Please pray this won't be traumatic for Virginia Grace. We don't want her to think we're bringing her back and leaving her there! We'll also be taken to her finding place (See "Found" post on sidebar). I anticipate that being a very emotional moment for us.

Your comments and emails continue to touch us. I often choke up with tears when I read them aloud to Scott. We are completely humbled by your support! Adopting has been a long-time dream of mine, even before all our miscarriages. But I never imagined God would use it in others' lives.

To God be the glory,