Sweet Home Alabama

After 28 hours of traveling, we finally arrived at the Birmingham airport at 11:20 pm. It was a challenging journey given that I only slept one hour total during our travel, and we were so frustrated when we got skipped over in customs at the Chicago airport which led us to miss our connecting flight home. Then our re-booked flight was over an hour delayed in departure. Thankfully, the kids did pretty well. But I could tell that Caroline wasn't sure about this whole America thing. This is how the kids looked on our last flight home...

Carter would tell everyone he saw that we were going home to Alabama. When we were just 30 minutes into our van ride from Guangzhou to Hong Kong, he asked, "Are we on the other side of the world yet?"

The long flight went pretty well. Grace and Caroline had a few clashes along the way, mainly because Grace is very hot and cold with her big sister. And Caroline finally told me on the translator, "I don't like her right now." I told her that I understood and was so glad she was honest with me. I also let her know that I appreciated how patient and persistent she had been in playing with Grace despite the little princess' diva attitude.

Carter, on the other hand, absolutely adores his big sister. When we got through customs and then reached the luggage recheck point and were told we didn't have time to make our flight, I was practically begging the airline employees to let us on whether our bags made it or not. Carter burst into tears, and we didn't know the reason until later when he explained that he thought the "police officers" weren't letting Caroline through. The poor boy thought his sister wouldn't be allowed to fly to Birmingham with us, and he said, "I want her to live with us!!" For ten minutes afterward, she carried him and he kept hugging her neck, looking at her face, and hugging her tightly some more. So sweet!

The moment finally arrived to greet family and friends who had headed to the airport very late to welcome home our new daughter!

Meeting her cousins, Tate, Alex, and Mary Katherine (my cousins' kids).

Mary Katherine has been so excited to meet Caroline! They will be in the same grade together.

Caroline and Scott's mom

Caroline and Scott's dad

Caroline immediately recognized my sister, Courtney (who goes by Aunt Coco)

With my family (minus Court's husband, Ivan)

With Scott's parents. Julie was there but I don't have any pictures with her in them...sneaky Aunt JuJu! :)

So thankful to be home with out any meltdowns from the kids! They were troopers.

Caroline and Aunt Coco

I will post more pics that other people are sending me. Thanks for all your prayers for our journey home. More updated info to come tomorrow when I've had enough sleep to create coherent sentences. :)

We're Here

It's 1:35 am on Saturday morning here in Nanning, China. After 27+ hours of traveling, we are thankful to be settling into our hotel room.

The kids did very well for such a long journey. We even sat on the ground in Chicago for two hours before we actually took off on the 14 hour flight. But they slept a good bit and only fussed between Hong Kong and Nanning because they were so tired.

Our guide, David, met us at the airport and took us to our hotel which was an hour away. He gave us a lot of information on the way, and we were able to ask many questions. First of all, we learned that LiYun did not find out we were coming this weekend until LAST night!! She has known since October that we were adopting her, but I thought she would have more notice of the exact dates we would be coming. David said he had planned to arrange for us to meet her sooner (like on Sunday), but when he talked to her and heard how nervous she sounded, he decided it was best to let her spend the whole weekend with her foster family. I agree with that decision whole-heartedly, as anxious as we are to meet her.

David said LiYun is most nervous about her English not being good (he confirmed that she does indeed know some!) and also anxious about not knowing what she should do or not do. He reassured her that we will be patient and do not mind her asking us questions. But my heart ached a little to know that her sweet mind is worrying about these things. We also learned that LiYun was adopted domestically by a Nanning family about 6 years ago! This was recent news to our guide too. Anyway, LiYun missed her foster family so much that she ended going back to them after just 2 weeks.

So I won't lie...I am a bit nervous that she could change her mind on Monday. But David says he doesn't see that happening. Apparently, she has been talking about her new family quite a bit. She is excited to come to America. And she even asked David if he could bring us to her school to meet her friends so she could show them her forever family! He said after this statement, "She is a sweet girl." Oh, how that warms my heart that she wants us to meet her friends!

She also asked if she can call her foster parents from the hotel this next week. And of course, we are fine with this. They have been her family for 7 years. We learned that she is the youngest one in the foster home. Nanning SWI only allows one foster child per family (which is not the norm in other provinces), and the couple's biological child is 23 or 24 years olds. (He thought they might even have two older children).

Gotcha Day will be Monday as planned, but we won't meet her until the afternoon. The civil affairs office is processing the adoptions of all the younger kids and babies during the morning. So Monday morning will be a slow one for sure. And that also means that you won't get a blog update until Monday morning instead of Sunday night. Boo...I know. :)

I have more pics and details to post, but I need to get in bed. It's now 2:08 am. The internet is just really really slow!! So more to come. But please be praying for LiYun, that God would replace her anxiety with peace. And that even in the midst of grieving the loss of her foster family and all the changes coming up, she will immediately feel comfortable in our family. Oh yes! I forgot...she said she wants to be a big helper with Carter and Grace. :)

If LiYun were to ultimately decide to stay in China, we would be heartbroken. Mostly because we know much more than she does that her future here is not bright for orphans. But we would understand. If the foster familiy were suddenly able to adopt her, I would see that as a great option for her. But from what the foster mom has said, that situation is not likely. Please pray that God's will would be done, no matter how difficult it is for her or for us. He has a great plan for this child's life....I know it. And I pray with an earnest heart that we are a part of it.

Sweet dreams, and more tomorrow.

Love,
Kelley

You'll never believe this...

WE HAVE TRAVEL APPROVAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After only 2 days!!! This is unheard of. Thank you so much for your prayers. We won't get our court date confirmed until Monday, but that's usually not a problem. So we're leaving June 23rd...less than 2 weeks!! YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't praise our social worker, Karla, and our agency (Lifeline) enough. Our China facilitator truly worked some magic, and we are beyond thrilled. Most of all, glory to God!!!

Article 5 picked up...on to FINAL step!

Just got notice that our Article 5 was picked up from the US Embassy in China yesterday and dropped off to the CCAA. Now we're just waiting on the final step....our travel approval!!

I'm giddy with excitement. Celebrating with a cheeseburger happy meal and Rolo McFlurry! ;)

Happy....

....Children's Day!!

What? You had no idea? That June 1st is Happy Children's Day? Me neither. I found out from Caroline! :)

We got an email from the guy who delivered Caroline's care package...the guy who will be our guide and translator in her province. He was giving us her measurements, and he had just talked to her the night before. It was wild to be "one degree" of contact away from her! She told him to tell us that she's so excited to meet her new family, and that she wanted to wish Happy Children's Day to everyone. We were beyond thrilled to know that she is excited to meet us. We know she's probably nervous and scared, but to know that she is looking forward to seeing us at all is huge! We are just counting the days until we can travel.

Our paperwork is currently at the US Embassy in China, and we're waiting for them to issue Article 5. Once that is picked up and delivered to the CCCWA, we'll just be waiting for Travel Approval. Please pray these steps can be expedited.

We're getting close!

She got our care package!

We were beyond thrilled last week to receive new video and pictures of our incredible daughter-to-be, Caroline!! (As a reminder, she has the choice to keep her Chinese name but I am not supposed to put it on the blog until we have her home...so we call her Caroline.) The video was taken of her opening the care package from us, and of the man (who will be our guide when we're there) translating our letter to her. I am not going to post the video here, but some sweet moments are when she sounds out "Al-a-bam-a" and smiles sweetly at the colored drawings from Carter and Grace. She spent more time looking at their pictures than looking over the other gifts we included in the package. We fall in love with her more and more every time we see her. She seems to have such a sweet nature. She is very attentive and interested in the video as if she wants to know all about her new family. And her foster parents seem wonderful. We are so grateful for how they've cared for her. Here are a few pictures...in several, she is looking at the photo book we sent her with pictures of our family, our home, etc. We are just aching to know her and love her more!

As a sidenote, I'm sure many people wonder why she cannot stay with this foster family and continue living in her own country and culture. There's a great article I am going to post next week that explains all the details, but in short, orphans age out at 14 and are forced to leave orphanges or foster homes and live on their own. This family even mentioned in the first video to us that they aren't able to take care of her anymore. Without the stipends from the government to cover expenses of an additional child, and with the enforcement of the one-child policy, most foster families cannot continue caring for a foster son or daughter long-term. Also, in China, a country big on tradition, heritage, and superstitions, many consider it a curse to employ or marry an orphan. Therefore, many orphans do not have a hope or future because of their history and background. While it will be a dramatic and challenging transition for Caroline, we believe she will have more opportunities to thrive (physically, emotionally, mentally, academically, professionally, and most importantly...spiritually) in our family here in America. And we feel incredibly blessed to have her want to join our family, as she has expressed.

Caroline's Finding Ad

So much has happened in the last week, but it's been difficult to update since I've been out of town so much. I am currently in North Carolina with my kids visiting my parents. Pics to come when I get home and can connect my camera to my computer.

In the meantime, we've had several exciting updates regarding Caroline! Brian Stuy, a guy who runs a business of locating finding ads for the orphans of China, sent the ads for Caroline. We were surprised to receive TWO finding ads. An orphanage is always required by law to post a description of a child and their (estimated if not known) date of birth if they have been abandoned before the child can be officially admitted to the institution and be eligible for adoption. Caroline was abandoned at 22 months, so the first ad was from May of 2000 (about 8 months after she was found). We were hoping the ad would include a picture, making it the earliest picture we would ever have of Caroline. But ads didn't include pics until a couple of years later.

Brian Stuy was surprised when he found a second finding ad for our Caroline, published in May of 2009. This was when her paperwork was being done to make her eligible for adoption, so I guess they had to run the ad in the newspapers one more time. This ad included a picture, and it's the youngest of her we've seen thus far. It's cute! I figure she was probably 8 or 9 in the picture.

Our beautiful girl was found with a note from her birth parents. We won't receive it until we get to China, and in fact, sometimes orphanage directors won't release the notes at all. But we hope it will be a source of comfort and reassurance of love from Caroline's birth mother...a sole remnant from her babyhood that she can treasure for a lifetime.

LOA is here!!!!!

After an unusually long and distressing wait, our LOA has finally arrived!!!!! Our social worker called today, and I was practically in tears when I heard the news. I am just now getting a chance to post this because I am in Louisville, KY for the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit VII. And we've been gone from the hotel since 6:20 am this morning with no access to a computer. I can't wait to write more about the Summit, but for now I just wanted to share our news before I crash in bed. Thank you for all your prayers and encouraging notes as we've waited.

Our next steps involve approvals to specifically adopt Caroline from the Department of Homeland Security, then some steps at the US Embassy in China. And THEN....then we will await our travel approval to go get our beautiful girl.

Happy Friday!!!

Update on Caroline

I know many of you have been waiting on an adoption update. I've held off posting anything because there wasn't any real news. But now I'm so emotional, frustrated, and desperate that I'm pleading for you to join me in praying for resolution, favor, and expedience.

As most of you know, we began the process to adopt Caroline in October. Because we could reuse our dossier from last year when we adopted Grace, we thought the process would move much more quickly. Unfortunately, our home study update got slowed down due to the backlong of clearances at our state DHR. (Like 3 months slowed down) Then, we were finally DTC "Dossier to China" on February 4th. If things had gone as normal, we would have been logged in by February 11th or soon thereafter. And we would have our LOA (Letter of Approval...letter seeking confirmation that we're adopting her) by March or April. Travel would follow in May or early June.

Now, it's nearly May. And we're two approvals behind. No log-in date or LOA. I've seen families who were DTC a month after us already receive LOA. Our social worker and Chinese liaison have been going to bat for us, but they have been unsuccessful in finding out what the holdup is or what can be done. My agency is flabbergasted. And so are we. We don't know if our paperwork is lost, was misfiled, is stuck with a worker who doesn't care, or what. I've been doing okay until the last few days. I am now at the point where I feel panicky and helpless. In fact, yesterday, I felt like I was having a panic attack because my heart was racing, my chest felt tight, and I felt sick to my stomach.

Caroline has known since October that she is being adopted. (This is actually very abnormal for a child to find out so early.) I wonder how many times she has wondered where we are and why we haven't shown up yet to bring her home. I wonder how many nights she has laid awake being nervous about the changes ahead.

Even the kids are getting anxious...

This morning, Carter asked me, "When are we going to China to get our big sister, Mommy?" He had actually even gotten out a suitcase a few days ago to begin packing.

And last night, the kids' Aunt JuJu was on the way over to babysit. When I asked if they knew who was coming to see them, Grace exclaimed, "Caroline LiYun!!!"

Will you please pray for us and for our agency to receive some answers soon? A few other families are in a similar boat with an abnormally long wait, but their paperwork was finally located. Pray that whoever finds our paperwork will have mercy on us and expedite our approvals. There's a chance our other approvals could be expedited, so travel could still take place in late June (but that's pushing it) or July. But it could seriously be August or September. I never would have believed it might take an entire year!!

Please pray for Caroline that she has peace as she waits. Pray that it won't be too late for Caroline to have treatments once she gets home. (Her SN is time-sensitive as it relates to her bones fusing as her body matures.)

And pray for this momma to have peace, comfort, and patience. I can tell myself that God's timing is perfect. But when you're on this side of it, and delays cause numerous problems, it's hard to remain calm.

As we approach Easter, we're praying for a miracle. We know that Jesus sits at the right hand of God the Father, continually interceding on our behalf. (Interceding on behalf of all who believe in Him.) And we long to see a resolution that's as shocking as our wait so we can give God all the glory.

I'll keep you posted as we await feedback from more inquiries to the CCA*. In the meantime, here are a few pictures of the care package we sent to Caroline a few weeks ago. In our letter, we explained why we haven't been able to travel to her yet. We hope she is enjoying the goodies and already feeling special and loved.

Shirts from Old Navy (I had to totally guess on size)

Journals

A craft to do with her foster sibling

We also included hard candies, gel pens, a candle and lotion for the foster mother, a photo album with new photos, pictures drawn by Carter and Grace, and more. We also included a sweet letter, pics, and a few tokens from my cousin's 11-year-old daughter, Mary Katherine, who is so eager to meet her new family member!

One Year in Our Arms!

Today is one year since we met Grace and became her parents! We can barely believe it's been a year since that miraculous day. In honor of that day, I've reposted the link to her adoption video. The video and pictures captured so much more than I could put into words or recall.

http://vimeo.com/13781080

Last night, Grace and I sat in bed and watched her "Forever Family Day" video together. We hadn't watched it in months. I wish I had videotaped her because she had a running commentary going the whole time.

"Baby Gace!"

"That you Mommy!"

"Daddy, Mommy, Gace!"

"Daddy being silly."

"Baby Gace crying."

"There Guhguh!!" (Chinese word for older brother)

She wanted to watch it repeatedly. Some moments, she was very serious and contemplative. Other times, she laughed and smiled. What warmed my heart was her repeated statement "Mommy, Daddy, Grace!" said at every picture of her with us on Gotcha Day. We probably watched the entire video eight or nine times. (Yes, we were up way past bedtime!)

I will have much more to post later today. I'm finishing a letter to Grace, and I'll post some more pictures. But we're off to celebrate, eat some authentic Chinese food, and enjoy the gift of our beautiful daughter.

Thank you to all of you who traveled this journey with us, left countless notes of encouragement, and prayed us through moments both of difficulty and of joy. It's been a year we'll forever cherish.

A Year Ago Today...

...we were kissing our sweet baby boy goodbye

and jumping on a plane to China....to meet our 16-month-old baby girl, Virginia Grace.

(Cover)ed

Need a baby gift? A birthday present? An Easter basket filler? Or just a fun gift for the kids in your life?

Then get (Cover)ed with these adorable custom and high-quality towels!

Okay, I'll kill the radio PR advertisement tone. :) But seriously, these towels are great for bathtime, the beach, or the pool. And now's the time to get ready for the spring and summer days ahead.

We're gearing up (and saving up) to travel to China in about 3 months to adopt and bring home 12-year-old Caroline LiYun. After much prayer and consideration, we've decided to bring Carter and Grace with us...mainly because the experiences of other families who've left adopted children at home for a subsequent adoption had year-long setbacks. And given that this is our 2nd adoption in less than 13 months, we've decided that doing a few fundraisers would be incredibly helpful. So we're asking you to consider helping us out by...SHOPPING! :) I mean, do you need a better excuse to shop than this beautiful face??? In just a few months, she will go from "orphan" to "beloved daughter."

So, I'm thrilled to introduce our first fundraiser! We are partnering with (Cover)ed to sell custom hooded towels for kids!

Each towel is 54x30 inches, with the attached hood measuring 10 1/2 inches long and 15 inches wide. They are great for snuggling infants but are also large enough for toddlers and big kids. The towels come in a variety of colors and personalization options.

Each towel is $25.

Our family will receive over 50% of each towel sold to go toward our adoption!

If you'd like to purchase a towel, you can email me at kelley.b.brown@gmail.com. Please put (Cover)ed in the subject line. You can also leave a comment on this post with your contact information. Please pay with cash or check. If another payment method is needed, let me know and we'll see what we can do.

To see all the different color and design options that are available for purchase, please click here.

When ordering, please include towel color, design color and initial color (if needed). The end date of my sale is Monday, April 4th. Towels will be ready 3 weeks from that date. However, if you need for Easter, let me know when ordering. If you live in Bham, there won't be any shipping. I'll get them to you. If you live outside of the Birmingham area, please include $2.00 if ordering one towel and $3.00 if ordering two or more towels. Also, if you live in the Birmingham area and would like to see a sample towel, just let me know.

PLEASE pass the link to this fundraiser on to everyone you know! Share it on blogs, FB, forums and anywhere else that you can. I am praying that we can place a HUGE order on April 4th!

And to kick off the sale, I'm doing a GIVEAWAY!! Leave a comment, and you'll get your name in once for the drawing. The prize is a FREE towel of your choice. Pass this blog link along to friends and have them mention your name in their comment, and they'll get their name in once plus you'll get another entry. And so on. I'll draw a name on April 4th. We so appreciate you spreading the word and helping us promote this fundraising event!

Finally, please go and take a look at the (Cover)ed website. This is a new ministry being done by two ladies right here in Alabama who have a heart for orphans and the call to care for orphans. Many lives are being blessed by their talents and passion!

Update on Caroline!

Thursday was Moving Day, and it was one of the most exhausting days I can remember. But in the midst of upheaval and craziness, we got an incredible surprise: new pictures and VIDEO of Caroline!!! For the sake of her privacy, I will not post the videos here. However, I have posted a few pictures as well as the translations of the video conversations.

The videos appear to have been filmed on October 13th, just a day after we received pre-approval to adopt her. So we can't believe that she was told the news so soon! She would have received pictures of us, a letter, and a care package from us a few days after the video was filmed.

Many of the pictures are candid, so you don't get to see Caroline's beautiful smile that appears in the videos. She seems to be a little shy and has such a sweet and gentle spirit.

(As a reminder, I am not allowed to mention Caroline's Chinese name on the blog, so while she may keep her name, we have to call her Caroline for now.)

In the first video, we learned that Caroline loves to play badminton, and her favorite color is purple. She is in the 6th grade, and her favorite subject is literature. She said her English may not be very good at first, and if we would please be patient with her. Her foster mom pipes in and says how excited Caroline is to be going to America. Caroline also says that she is excited to have a new mom and dad.

Paraphrase of 2nd Video with Foster Mom speaking:

She said she did not want her to go, but was not capable of taking care of her. "Caroline" loves her step-sister very much. They love each other so much. She understands that it is the best thing ever happened to "Caroline". She wish her well. Hard to let her go....

We are more anxious than ever to get our dossier to China so that we can officially begin the wait for LOA and Travel Approval. We are still waiting on approval from the USCIS.

In other news, we are settled into the poolhouse until next Friday when we can move into our new home. Our first night here, Grace had a very difficult time. She woke up screaming and crying around midnight and did not stop for 30 minutes. She backed herself into a corner of the room and screamed "NO mommy!" or "NO daddy" if we took any steps toward her. We asked her if she was mad or sad about the move, and she would just yell with rage, "I. AM. NOT. MAD!!!!!!" and other such statements with the words cut short and staccato-like. We hadn't seen this type of rage/fear/grief since our 2nd night with her in China. I am sure that she was scared we were leaving her. After all, every change of scenery she has ever experienced involved a change in caretaker. The last 2 nights have been fine, but please pray that she will know (subconsciously too) that she is with us forever.

Of all times, a big winter storm of snow and ice is predicted for Sunday through Tuesday. Because I only brought enough clothes for one week, I didn't pack gloves, heavy sweaters, or anything necessary for snow. And if ice causes the power to go out (as it has done in Birmingham before), we're really in trouble. It was 65 degrees the day I packed our bags for the poolhouse, so you can imagine what type of items I brought. And have I mentioned how livid we will be (and ALL of Bham) if loss of power happens on Monday night as Auburn (my alma mater) plays for the national championship??? Let's just not go there.

Thanks for all the sweet comments on Grace's coat and hat in the previous post. It's made by Corky and Company, and I found it online during a store's huge sale. (I can't recall the name of the boutique.) If you find one of the coats, don't pay full price because you can buy them for a lot less!!

In the next week, I hope to have some more news and a better timeline to bring Caroline home. I'll update soon!

Happy 12th Birthday Caroline!

On the other side of the world, in a southern province of China, there is some celebrating going on. Here in the Brown household in Birmingham, Alabama, we're toasting our waiting daughter who turned 12 today! We sent another letter and a birthday cake through Ladybugs n Love and hope she was able to receive and enjoy it.

We have officially given our little girl the name of Caroline. We will give her the option of being called by her Chinese name or by Caroline. We've heard from other families that many older kids get to America and want an "American" name. Until then, we just keep alternating the names when talking about her. :)

One of the joys of reviewing Caroline's referral was the extraordinary detail of the report by her orphanage. We also love how the Chinese use (and translate) certain phrases and descriptions. We've opted to keep some of her file private and allow her to share her story on her own. But here are a few highlights from her history to give you a taste of this girl's vibrant and sweet spirit.

"(Caroline)* is an outgoing, innocent and active, clever and beautiful little girl. She has very sweet smile, and her bright eyes look like the pure and beautiful moon."

"At the age of 3 years, (Caroline) began to study in the kindergarten of institute. In class, (Caroline) put her hands at back and listened to teachers very carefully with a pair of bright eyes open wide. She was willing to learn new things and had strong acceptance, had learned to read children's songs, count numbers, sing and dance, etc. At that time (Caroline) liked outdoor activity very much, she was always the most active one when playing games on the playground with other children, she ran, jumped, talked and laughed all the time and was unwilling to stop when teachers asked them to rest. She was active and restless, even a little naughty. (Caroline) was energetic in studying and playing in day time, but at night she slept sweetly like a meek cat which was very delightful."

"In order to give (Caroline) a warm family life, when she was 5 years old, we sent her to live in a foster family employed by the institute. The whole foster family like this very clever and beautiful little girl very much and gave her considerate care. At that time (Caroline) transferred to a kindergarten near her foster family to study in the top class."

"She was a polite child, the first sentence she said to teachers every morining was "good morning, teacher" and can get along well with other children, share all food and funny things with others; teachers and other children all liked her deeply. In kindergarten she had learned to read children's songs, recognize characters, draw, handwork, sing dance, etc; she was clever in mind and skillful in hand, she did handwork well and quickly, was good at singing and dancing. Learning to sing and dance was the most happiest thing for her and her singing was the most loud and clear in class, she danced beautifully and had strong expressive force."

"She told everything she heard and saw in school to foster parents every day after school. On her way to and back from school she took an initiative to greet the elders in neighborhood and thank others politely when they gave things to her. All people liked this innocent and active little girl very much who was talkative and had a ready smile. At the age of 8 years, (Caroline) began to study in grade two; in teachers' eyes she was a diligent and inquisitive and hard-working good student, learned well in Chinese, math, music, drawing, and sports, and teachers said she was a hard-working, disciplined good student who also loved labor work. She was a loving child and ready to help others, often helped classmates in need and gave pencils, exercise books and other stationary to students whose family has troubles."

"When she was in grade four, she was fond of play for some time, restless in class, talked to other students around and did not listen to teachers attentively, did not finish the homework seriously, played for a long time outside with others after school and then went back home, and her school records came down. Specific to this condition the teachers pointed out her shortcomings timely and asked her foster parents to guide her coordinately. The staff of welfare institute often talked with her during family visit and went to school to discuss with her teachers. In fact, (Caroline) was a self-motivated child. Through everyone's concern and instruction she realized her mistakes and weakness and began to correct actively."

"With time goes by, (Caroline) is 11 years old now, has bright eyes, and graceful eyebrows, slender, slim and graceful, and she is a beautiful girl. As getting older she becomes more sensible, and with a little shyness especially for girls and less naughty than before. (Caroline) has her own thoughts and characters in doing anything; if she thinks that adults criticize her wrongly, she will defend herself with effort. She knows her own mind, whenever foster mother takes her to buy schoolbag, stationary or shoes and clothes she will chose them on her own. This year (Caroline) is in grade five, now she behaves well on all aspects, and her academic record keeps going ahead. In the past years, (Caroline) has won many awards in school. In school, teachers praised "(Caroline) is a good student!"; at home foster parents said proudly "(Caroline) is our good daughter!"

"Every day after school she finishes homework conscientiously without others' supervision and then takes an initiative to help foster mother do housework. She is sensible and cares about others, often asks people whether they feel hot of cold; she loves foster parents and all people who love her. A little active, clever and confident, this is the beautiful and lovely (Caroline)."

In the next few days, I will answer a lot of frequently asked questions. But for now, please join me in wishing this incredible girl a happy and blessed birthday!! We can't wait to meet her in person, and we're proud to call her our daughter!

*To protect Caroline and to follow guidelines of the Chinese gov't, I've edited this post to only reveal her American name. We will share her Chinese name after we get her home.

I think she sometimes dreams about her...

In the 6+ months that Grace has been home, she has continued to bond beautifully with Scott, Carter, and me, in particular. Whenever she is sad, frustrated, scared, or lonely, she doesn't hesitate one second to call out for me or run into my arms. She wraps her arms around my neck, and I often thank God for the special priviledge of being able to reassure or cheer up my baby girl by simply holding her or looking into her eyes. While Grace can definitely be clingy at times, I am just thankful that she has bonded so well and grown enough in her security to begin branching out in acceptance of and affection for others.

But even with this incredible progress, moments of grief still occasionally surface. And during those (now rare) times, nothing I do seems to help. Such a moment happened yesterday during Grace's nap. While she normally gets out of her bed and comes to find me if she feels scared or insecure, she woke up screaming and crying in bed. She was crying out for "Mommy," but my face and embrace brought no comfort. In fact, they brought more anguish. Grace pushed me away, arched her back, pumped her fists, and screamed with agonizing cries of anger and deep sadness for at least ten minutes before she would let me touch her. (I could tell by her eyes and responses that she was awake, so it wasn't quite a night terror.) All of these things are expressions of trauma and grief. And given that Grace is such a strong and happy little girl, I sometimes forget what huge changes she endured in the first 16 months of her life. I sometimes forget that she was torn from a home and a foster family that she had grown to love for 10 months. And when she cried out for "Mommy" yesterday and yet seemed even more agitated to see my face, I wondered if maybe she had dreamed about her foster mom. Consciously, she may not even remember China. But she's not so far removed from that part of her life that images would not surface during the mind's vulnerable state of slumber.

There are typically triggers for regression in sleep, night terrors, grief, etc. If you have adopted or are planning to adopt, keep these in mind so you won't be caught off guard (as I was yesterday):

- changes in routine

- overstimulation

- separation from parents

- new activities or experiences

- stressful circumstances like hospital visits or dr's appointments

Grace had four of these factors over the last few days, so I'm not sure which one is to blame. Probably the combination of them all! The mind works in mysterious ways, so a child may respond very positively to a new experience and not be conscious of the effect on his or her brain. (You'll find more details on this in adoption/attachment books.) So for example, I took Grace to Disney's Princess Wishes on Ice on Friday. She had a blast!! But it was the largest crowd she'd ever seen. Add on the lights, music, skaters, and her beloved Mickey Mouse in "real life," and her brain may have begun working overtime to process the excitement of it all. Often, the brain copes as if it were under stress, and regressive behaviors or responses can result. (Grace has also reverted to some self-soothing since her nap.) This may not have been at all what led to her naptime disruption, but I had to remind myself of the triggers so I don't combine so many potential factors in the future as I mistakenly did this past week.

Truthfully, I hope Grace's mind does hold onto a few images or memories from her life in China. It will eventually help her as she struggles to understand and build her identity. I can't imagine having the first 16 months of my life be a black void... no pictures, no stories, no details of babyhood. I just hate to see her wrestle with grief. I know Grace feels loved. And I know she loves me. And I am sure she sometimes misses her foster mother, even if it's vague and implicit memories. Moments like we had yesterday are very normal for adopted children. But I pray every day that the Lord will fill the dark areas in her mind and heart with light and redemptive love. And I hope she continues to dream.

A Year Ago Today...

...we saw Virginia Grace's face for the very first time!!

And we knew she was ours.

Happy Referral Day, Grace!!